Trying to forget the past.

Randomly listening to: Last Night on Earth by Green Day

Lying in the dark, my back to him, I could hear his breathing in sync with my own. I closed my eyes and thought about how fleeting happiness could be. His arm then crept around my waist and he pulled me towards him and in that exact moment I decided that it didn't matter.

With every breath that I'm worth here on Earth I'm sending all my love to you.

Feeling inspired.

To love.

To be loved.

To never forget your own insignificance.

To never get used to the unspeakable violence

and the vulgar disparity of life around you.

To seek joy in the saddest places.

To pursue beauty to its lair.

To never simplify what is complicated

or complicate what is simple.

To respect strength, not power.

Above all, to watch.

To try and understand.

To never look away.

And never, never, to forget.

Arundhati Roy

I love her and that's the beginning and end of everything.

In need of a Prince Charming, but you'll do for now.

Randomly listening to: All I Wanted by Paramore

You're not my forever. Hell, you're not even my near future. You're my present and that's only because I needed a present and you were the most interesting option.

I know this sounds unromantic, and it is so out of character for me, but I'm starting to accept that it's okay not to fall in love with you. And it's okay that this won't last longer than the summer.

And still I don't even know if you're what I want for my summer. But it's August already and it's too late now.

I guess it's a good thing that I'm finally admitting this to myself.

I'm looking for so much more, but I just can't find it.

So you'll do for now.

At least for now.

I could follow you to the beginning just to relive the start.
Maybe then we'd remember to slow down at all of our favorite parts.

Zelda Fitzgerald.

Randomly listening to: Parachutes by Coldplay

About who I used to be.

Listening to: Naive by The Kooks


You used to think the world of me, remember? You said I was the best person you knew. You said you were so lucky to have me in your life. You used to be proud of me.

I don't think you think of me that way anymore. I know I don't think about myself that way anymore. I don't know who I am anymore to be honest.

Maybe I just want you to see me the way you used to so I can go back to see myself that way too. I want to go back to being that person you thought so much of.

I just don't know how to.

I'm not saying it's your fault although you could have done more.

I would like that.

Love Story.

The minute I heard my first love story,

I started looking for you, not knowing

how blind that was.

Lovers don’t finally meet somewhere.

They’re in each other all along.

Poem by Rumi (1207-1273)

The bittersweet between my teeth.

Randomly listening to: Young Blood by The Naked and The Famous


Sometimes I find myself willing to do so much
For people
Who wouldn't move a finger for me
Who don't deserve me
And even though I know this
I still do it.

We're all young and naive still...

Every atom of me misses you.

I will miss you
always,
even in the moments
when you are right
beside me.
Time apart has planted
longing inside me
and I do not think
it is a weed
that will ever stop
growing.
It will always live there,
but my god
it grows the most
spectacular
flowers.

-Tyler Knott Gregson-

I just miss you so much.

Randomly listening to: What If by Simple Plan


I remember how you used to be able to tell when I was smiling through the phone. You always knew exactly what to say.

Now the only thing I get from you is constant disappointment.

What happened?

I'll be waiting here for you to call me.

Wait for something better.

Randomly listening to: This is Your Life By The Killers


She was a summer day, a burst of light, an explosion of colour. I was just the one lucky enough to be by her side. I was content with being invisible if it meant standing by her.

But then you saw me, and suddenly I started shining just as bright.

The sky is full of dreams but you don't know how to fly.

University.

These past two years,

I feel like I've been losing more than finding

Myself.

Is forever actually real?

Randomly listening to: Catalyst by Anna Nalick


Have you ever wondered about who will be there when your life is ending? Who will actually be there forever. Out of all your friends now, who will be the ones who stay. I mean, I'm talking about 60 years, maybe even more. Do people actually stick around for so long?

I really hope so.

When you say love is a simple chemical reaction can't say I agree, Cause my chemica left me a beautiful disaster. Still love's all I see.

Don't leave me on that old, black road.

Randomly listening to: Untold by Pete Francis


I've been thinking,
Maybe it's not you that I haven't forgiven,
Maybe it's me.

Something's lost, something ain't right.

I'm not the one.

Randomly listening to: Not the One by Collective Soul


Things weren't the same with us, not right away, and maybe not ever. We were growing up. We were still figuring out how to be in each other's lives without being everything to each other.


-We'll Always have Summer-

While patiently your world still bleeds, who shall be the one?

Feeling Lucky.

Randomly listening to: I Feel Lucky by Lucy & The Cloud Parade


Drive fast on empty streets
with nothing in mind
except falling in love and
not getting arrested.

-Hunter s. Thompson.

Regrets collect like old friends.

Randomly Listening To: Shake It Out by Florence and The Machine


you see,
there is this loneliness,
and sometimes it eats us all alive.

And I'm damned if I do, and I'm damned if I don't.

I could forgive you if you wanted me to.

Randomly listening to: Choux Pastry Heart by Corinne Bailey Rae

I wouldn't find it difficult to forgive you if you wanted me to. I mean, if you really tried I could not only forgive but forget by tomorrow. Yes, I am that easy.

I can forgive almost anything, I've found.

But I can't forgive someone who isn't sorry for what he's done.

I can't forgive someone who isn't sorry for having hurt me.

I can't forgive someone who doesn't want to get back what he's lost.

I can't forgive someone who doesn't care about being forgiven.

P.S. Any thoughts on my blog's new look?

I was just waiting for an answer, still you made your own apologies.

The Notebook letter breaks my heart a little bit.

I couldn't sleep last night because i know that it's over between us. I'm not bitter anymore, because I know that what we had was real. And if in some distant place in the future we see each other in our new lives, I'll smile at you with joy and remember how we spent the summer beneath the trees, learning from each other and growing in love. The best kind of love is the kind that awakens the soul and makes us reach for more, that plants a fire in our hearts and brings peace to our minds, and that's what you've given me. That's what I hope to give to you forever. I love you. I'll be seeing you. 

Noah

When you try your best but you don't succeed.

Listening to: Fix You by Coldplay


How can you tell me that you stopped wanting me to be an important part of your life when you stopped trusting me completely and expect me to just leave it like that?
How am I supposed to move on with my life when I can't understand where my mistake was?
That sounds wrong.
I know I made thousands of mistakes. So did you love.
But I never imagined that you had stopped trusting me.
Oh God, Why does this hurt so much?
You abandoned me and here I am, ready to keep fighting. In fact I'm the one pulling us both. And I know I should just stop. Stop. Stop. Why can't I stop?
And why can't we just be completely honest with each other instead of playing this game where I seem to always be the loser? Because apparently the one who cares the least wins.
This is nonsense.
"When you love someone but it goes to waste. Could it be worse?" That's what I'm hearing right now and the answer is one thousand times no. It can't be any worse.

Tears stream down your face when you lose something you cannot replace.