Stupid movies giving us high expectations

Randomly listening to: I will always love you by Whitney Houston


You know in romantic movies, specially in romantic comedies, there is always a pattern:


Girl meets boy.
Girl falls for boy.
Problems arise.
One of the two have a grand gesture.
Happy ending.

We've all grown up watching, and wishing that someday we would have something similar, our own movie love story. I grew up loving those grand gestures, believing that whatever you do in love, you can always save it if you try really hard, if you show the other person how much you love them. I've always been a sucker for romance, and believe in it above all else.

So it is disappointing to realize that there is a different kind of story, one that is rarely shown in romantic comedies, one that we really don't want to believe is true.

It's the story of the underdog.
The story of the girl who doesn't get the guy.
The story of the girl who tries her hardest and it still isn't enough.
The story of the girl who doesn't get a happy ending.

and I will always love you

It's not anger anymore, just sadness

Randomly listening to: The Winner Takes It All by Abba


Thoughts run through my head so quickly I don't even have time to grasp them to fully understand them and be able to put them into words, but they still leave a feeling, an aching inside, which you don't understand I can't explain.

I am a talker. I need to chew on words, several times if possible, to be able to digest them. 45 minutes is not enough time to make it all okay. It is a start, but we still have a long way to go.

I know you are tired of me caring so much, and I am tired too.

So I won't get mad when you leave.

I won't get mad when you don't appreciate my sweet words.

I won't get mad when you forbid me to do what I want.

I won't get mad when you forget about me.

I won't get mad when you take me for granted.

I won't get mad when you treat me like dirt.

But please, forgive me. Forgive me for I can't stop this tear running down my face.

I apologize if it makes you feel bad seeing me so tense, no self confidence

I've Got a Crush on You

Randomly listening to: There Goes the Fear by Doves


Today is not about anger. 
     Today is not about pain. 
          Today is not about disappointment. 
               Today is not about loss.


Today...


Today is about crushes. 
     Today is about butterflies.
          Today is about happiness. 
               Today is about hope. 

I want to sleep with you.

I don't mean have sex.

I mean sleep. Together.

Under m blankets. In my bed.

With my hand on your chest.

And your arm around me.

With the window cracked.

So it's chilly and we have to cuddle closer.

No talking.

Just sleep, blissfully happy, silence.

Think of me when you close your eyes

Love Never Dies...HA!

Listening to: The BSO from Love Never Dies (Musical)


The thing is, we always knew that no one really understood our relationship, that what we had was something special that only us, being in the inside, could fully get. That it was you and me against the world.


And when in July you felt like I had treated you wrongly, you decided that it was the end of our special relationship. You were disappointed, hurt. You didn't, or couldn't, trust me anymore. You were done with me. But I wouldn't hear it, I wouldn't allow it. I talked, fought, cried, desperately for you to forgive me, for you to believe in me again. I could just not imagine losing you. The thought was too hard to bear.

And I managed to fix what had been broken, little by little.

Now it is me that has lost faith in you. Now it is me that needed for you to fight. Fight for me.

How naive of me to think you would.

Love is not always beautiful

Numbers & Dates

Randomly listening to: spanish radio


It's funny how we remember dates. A date you always remember is the day you started dating that special someone. Another day very typically remembered is the day you loose the big V. I don't know why we make a big deal out of it, but many times we do. And it sucks. It sucks that some numbers arranged in a certain way are suddenly so important, so dear to you.

For me, it was the number 26.

And now, thanks to you, for her too.

Goodbye friend(ship)

 Randomly listening to: Head Rolls Off by Frightened Rabbit


I was ready to call a truce. I was ready to say I want to be your friend again, I want you in my life again. I was ready.


I thought you would be delighted. I thought that would be important for you. I thought you missed me.


But I've given you an opportunity, and the only thing you've showed to me is that you don't. fucking. care. You don't care that we haven't talked in more than a week. I mean really talk. Like we used to do every day. You don't care anymore.


Well, you know what? I don't want a friend who doesn't care.


So you can shove our friendship up your ass.


And if you ever wonder in the future what the hell happened to us, why I don't care anymore, remember that it was you who pushed me away. I didn't leave. I didn't want to leave. I was holding on for dear life. I wanted you in my life more than anything in this world. I believed it when I said it is you and me against the world. I meant it when I said you are my best friend. 


But 


You. Pushed. Me. Away.

So you can burn me cause we'll all be the same, the same way

Didn't kill me, so I guess that means I am stronger

Randomly listening to: Decode by Paramore


The end of the age of sadness is here. I am back to being me.  I'm brushing off the dust from my smile, reaching for my pride forgotten under my bed. Summer is almost here, and I am determined to be happy. I've been fighting, fighting hard, and I've won. 

...

You won't take away my pride. No, not this time.