Its Christmas Time!

Randomly listening to: Sweet Caroline by Neil Diamond (Glee version)


This post is pretty simple really. Just wanted to wish you all a Merry Christmas. Enjoy the holidays, the family, the friends, the food, the presentsssssss.

And don't forget to be thankful!

Don't let anyone let you think that Christmas isn't great, cause it is.

Here I leave you with a piece of my favourite movie of all time, Love Actually, which is actually a Christmas movie :):

Whenever I get gloomy with the state of the world, I think about the arrivals gate at Heathrow Airport. General opinion's starting to make out that we live in a world of hatred and greed, but I don't see that. It seems to me that love is everywhere. Often, it's not particularly dignified or newsworthy, but it's always there - fathers and sons, mothers and daughters, husbands and wives, boyfriends, girlfriends, old friends. When the planes hit the Twin Towers, as far as I know, none of the phone calls from the people on board were messages of hate or revenge - they were all messages of love. If you look for it, I've got a sneaking suspicion... love actually is all around. 

Where it began, I can't  begin to know when, but then I know it's growing strong

High Expectations and meeting Them

Randomly listening to: Northern Downpour by Panic! at the Disco


When thinking about my future love life, I sometimes find myself wondering how I'm ever going to find someone who is good enough for me and who, at the same time loves me.

Let me explain: I dated Sir P for two years and then we broke up a few months ago. I was sure of my decision. I was sure it was the right step.

The problem is that Sir P was great. He was my first boyfriend and if I believed in perfection I would say that he was perfect.

That is why my standards are so high. Every guy I meet seems so little in comparison. It doesn't help that most guys I meet run from relationships. People are looking for one night stands...It would be so much easier if that is what I wanted. But it is not.

I can't loose hope though, right? There must be someone out there for me that wants what I want and that learns to love me as much as I love him...

Maybe I'll use some of these...;)

And then she said she can't believe  genius  only comes along  in storms of fabled foreign tongues

Just a bit of dreaming (quote)

Listening to: Claire de Lune by Debussy


Do you ever dream so much that you start to scare yourself? I mean, have you ever withdrawn from reality and made yourself a little home in the quarters of your mind? Then you dream up something ideal and all of a sudden you feel little waves of panic wash over you because you've just realized this whole mess you've made in your head. And the scariest thing you realize is that while you've been living above and beyond what you want in your mind, you haven't really been living in reality at all.

Silence is so freaking loud

My philosophy

Randomly listening to: Top of the World by The All American Rejects


Last night, Normy, Le Corby and me decided to go to The Venue, our on campus club, because if you said "I've built a snowman today" you only had to pay two pounds.

We danced all night and had a great time, but at some point I started looking around and wondering...

What I saw were girls with the skimpiest dresses and the highest heels they could find. Never mind body shape, constitution, personality...It looked like a robot factory. Yes, sure, robots who had spent a long time getting ready, but robots nonetheless.

Most of them were getting wasted and looking for a boy for the night. To make them feel beautiful, to make them feel wanted, to make them feel loved...

On the other side were the boys getting drunk too, just trying to find some skin to grab.

And it just seemed like the girls were trying too hard to get guys that would've said yes even if you were wearing sweats. Their desperation was clear in their faces.

So everywhere I looked I saw a girls kissing boys, boys kissing girls, girls and boys rubbing against each other, each looking for something different...

And I don't want to sound like I think I'm above all that, but I can't help but wonder if that makes anyone happy, if losing all respect for yourself is the way forward.

I guess at the end of the day, my philosophy is being happy, being fulfilled, and dressing as a slut to hook up with some guy that won't even remember my name the next morning is not my idea of fun.

Is there anybody out there that wakes up with a bitter taste?

Cute guys and actually talking to them

Listening to: Why Can't I? by Liz Phair

And when you say hello, and I reply almost silently, I wish I had the courage to say more.
And even though I've been here before and I've survived, it seems impossible for me to get any closer.
And your smile makes my day.
And all these thoughts run through my head:
"Could he ever like me?"
"Has he looked at me?"
"Does he even know my name?"
And I wish that I was just like your pretty friends who you talk with.
And I am so jealous of them.
And I just feel like a thirteen year old again.
And my insecurities just get the best of me.
And I don't know how to do this anymore.

Walking down the street and I hardly know you. Its just like we were meant to be.

Things I never knew about friends I thought I knew

Randomly listening to: This is the last time by Keane


I just came back this afternoon from my second weekend home. It was great being back home,seeing my friends...Finding out things I never knew...


F2 has found herself a boyfriend. It is not any boyfriend either, it's her first. A big deal, anyone would think. The funny thing is how I found out about this: my mum told me. My mum. I found out that one of my best friends had started dating thanks to my mum. Just take a minute to process this.

So then, of course, after my initial shock, I decided to ask her what the hell my mum was talking about, and she replied with a pretty long message saying sorry and explaining everything. Explaining the whole 2 weeks and a half she had been dating this guy.

Wait? Did you say 2 weeks and a half?

Great.

Just fucking great.

So there I am, speachless. Thank God I asked, right?

And I am so scared shitless because I feel like she's so far away and she won't talk to me. And how are you supposed to have a friendship - and not just any friendship, but a special one- with someone who won't bother telling you this stuff.

How are we going to survive?

Are we going to survive?


Oh, please, let us survive.

Say that some things never die. Well I tried and I tried.

About quotes and feelings

Randomly listening to: Forever Lost by The Magic Numbers


Promise me.
That's all I want. Just promise that you'll never forget me. Tell me I changed you somehow. Let me know that I had an impact on your life. Promise me that you'll always remember me. Losing you was hard enough but I don't want to go on knowing I meant absolutely nothing to you.

Darling, what'cha gonna do now? Now that you noticed it all went wrong.