Letter to my past

Randomly listening to: Chasing Pavements by Adele


Dear you,

This is the last time I will write to you. It has taken a while to sink in but I finally have understood that you are not coming back for me, ever. This is not a break. This is not a breather. You didn't stop talking to me to save our relationship. You stopped talking to me because you genuinely don't give a damn anymore. And you will never care again.


I guess there is a part of me that will always wonder what I could have done that was so wrong for you to stop loving me completely, but I've stopped blaming myself. I may have done things I shouldn't have, I'm not perfect, but I stuck around to fix it. Always. The thought of surrendering never even entered my mind. It was never a possibility for me. I would have never given up on you.


You probably think that I'm mad at you and I must confess, I was. I felt betrayed, I felt abandoned. You were my best friend, the person I talked to the most, and losing that...Is not easy. I couldn't understand. I was hurt. 


But I'm not anymore. I've come to terms with it. 


I know that the person who loved me doesn't exist anymore. A new person has replaced him and it's a shame really, because I don't think I would like what you've become. So I guess, all in all it's a good thing that we have nothing to do with each other anymore.


I hope you are happy, though. I really do. I hope your life is everything you hoped for. I hope you get everything you ever wanted.


I...you probably don't care, but I'll be okay. I will be more than okay actually. I will find that person who loves me for me and would die if they lost me. I will find someone like the person you used to be.

Goodbye forever.

Always Never yours again,

Kipa

Should I give up or should I  just keep chasing pavements, even if it leads nowhere?