domingo, 25 de marzo de 2012

Where are you?

Randomly listening to: Under Cover of Darkness by The Strokes

I want a man who is not afraid of confrontation. Who will shout when he's angry and fight for what he believes to be true, but is also capable of saying I'm sorry when he knows he's wrong. I want a man who understands my past and wants to make my future better. I want a man with dreams as big as mine. I want a man who will find the time to read even when he's extremely busy because he loves it so much. I want a man who will teach me things. Who will take me to places I've never been to. I want a man who tries to understand me even when I can't understand myself.Who is willing to take me out do dance and doesn't worry about what everyone else might think. I want a man who surprises me with his spontaneity. Who tells me to jump in the car with him. I want a man who doesn't give up on me when things get hard. Who loves me too much to ever let me go and who knows that, whatever happens, I won't let him go either.

So long my friend and adversary but oh, I'll wait for you.

sábado, 24 de marzo de 2012


Randomly listening to: Rise & Fall by The Cinematics.

We mistake sex for romance. Guys are taught that pushing a girl against a wall is romance. Sex is easy, you can do it with anyone, yourself, with batteries. Romance is when someone you like walks into a room and they take your breath away. Romance is when two people are dancing and they fit together perfectly. Romance is when two people are walking next to each other and all of a sudden they find themselves holding hands, and they don't know how that happened.

John C. Moffi

And your body's warmth will only leave me colder in my world.

miércoles, 21 de marzo de 2012

I saw him again.

I saw him again. I saw him again and I wasn't prepared, you see, because I had spent the whole month trying to accept that he didn't want to see me. But he did. He did want to see me. Probably not as much as I wanted to see him, but just enough for me to hold on to it.

And I couldn't sleep that night, I was so nervous. 

When I saw him I didn't know what to do. It took a moment for me to realize I needed to hug him. That hug was not long enough. I wanted to hold on to him longer, I wanted to hold on forever, but I didn't want to scare him off. So I played it cool.

Playing it cool has never been my thing you see? Did I talk too much? Was I funny enough? Did I act the way I was supposed to? Was I good enough for him to not regret seeing me?

I hope so, and I hate not being able to ask, I hate not knowing what he thinks, and I hate feeling so pathetic because I care so much.

I thought it went well. I thought it was a step forward to regain our weird friendship.

Later, my friend asked me if there had been any sexual tension and I'm scared that the answer might have been yes.

And I'm scared that the answer might have been no.

Things I wish we had done.

 I wish we had rented a hotel room for one night and slept in each others' arms. I wish we had travelled and discovered the world together. I wish we had had a time when we saw each other every day. I wish we had gone to the beach and played in the water for hours. I wish we had done everything we always said we wanted to do. I wish we had had the time.

Maybe there was a time when I thought that we could get it back, just because I thought you wanted it too. Maybe I still wish that you still thought of us as a possibility, even if it is far away in the future.

But it's clear by the way you act, it's clear by the way you talk, that I am no longer that possibility for you.

I was hoping you and I might end up together.

lunes, 12 de marzo de 2012

A little bit of poetry.

When you find a man
Who transforms
Every part of you
Into poetry,
Who makes each one of your hairs
Into a poem,
When you find a man,
As I am
Of bathing and adorning you
With poetry,
I will beg you
To follow him without hesitation,
It is not important
That you belong to me or him
But that you belong to poetry.
 by Nizar Qabbani 

jueves, 1 de marzo de 2012

About living life to its full potential

Randomly listening to: London Skies by Jamie Cullum

Take a step back. Fucking look at yourself. You are human. You are beautiful. You are so beautiful. And you can be anything. You can be everything. Do not hate because someone broke your heart, or because your parents split up, your best friend betrayed you, your father hit you, the kid down the street called you fat, ugly, stupid, worthless. Do not concern yourself with things you cannot control. Cry when you need to, then let go when it's time. Don't hang onto painful memories just because you're afraid to forget. Let go of things that are in the past. Forget things that aren't worth remembering. Stop taking things for granted. Stop taking life for granted. Live for something. Live for yourself. Fall in love. Fall out of love. Fall in love. Fall out of love. Do this over and over until you know what it really is to love someone. Question things. Tell people how you really feel. Sleep under the stars. Create. Imagine. Inspire. Share something wonderful. Make something beautiful and then destroy it. Meet new people. Make someone's day. Follow your dreams. Live your life to its full potential. Just live, dammit. Let go of all the horrible things in your life and just fucking live. And one day, when you're old, look back with no regrets.

You know the sunlight always shines behind the  clouds of London skies.