About not being able to do anything.

Randomly listening to: Airplanes by B.o.B feat Hayley Williams


Is this really what you want? For us to mean nothing at all to each other? Is that really better? Can you actually do that?


If you chose to end this, I would suffer deeply. I would hate to have you see you go. You are part of me so losing you would be like losing myself. I would remember what we had every day.


But you don't seem to understand.


We are not together anymore. 


Things change. And you shouldn't worry every damn minute about it.

I am not careful with what I say to the rest of my friends. I don't worry that a sentence will send them away.

But with you...

I walk through pins and needles. And it shouldn't have to be that way.


And maybe I shouldn't fight it. Maybe you need this. Maybe we both do.

All I know is that there is nothing more I can do. It is your decision.

Can we pretend that airplanes in the night sky  are like shooting stars? 

I could really use a wish right now...

Awesome writing by someone else

Randomly listening to: Fade into you by Mazzy Star


Sometimes I dream of touch and colour and that life's still full of magic but it's not really, there's just soda pop bubbles, just these stupid teeth, just me trying to win, trying to get a girl like you to like a boy like me, you're too pretty and I have never been that good at slaying dragons.

What can I even tell you? You make me so nervous and sick in my stomach, I want you so bad that it's just like the wind getting knocked out of my chest - all the time.

Besides, my hands shake too much, my mouth gets too dry. I'm not good at these things you see?

I am not the hero nor the monster, I am just the person who writes down the stories od the heroes and the monsters and it's bittersweet, I want mine, I'm too greedy, blah, blah, blah.

God damn you. I want you more than air. I'm too old for this. I couldn't stop feeling this way if I tried.

I want to hold the hand inside you, I want to take a breath that's true

Happy (Late) New Year

Randomly listening to: Dustland Fairytale by The Killers


So, a new year has started. Well, it actually started 5 days ago, but we don't have to be technical, do we? It's 2011 everyone...A whole new year...What will it bring us?

I haven't written any New Year Resolutions in ages. I find that they don't work for me. Well, I really haven't found anyone who gets them done.

Therefore, as we know we are not going to follow them, why not write some crazy resolutions? What would I do if I could do anything in 2011? What would I want if I could have anything?

1. I want to be at the top of my class.

2. I want a boy who will sweep me off my feet.

3. I want the Four Fantastics to get together once a month at least.

4. I want to see the world.

5. I want a driving license.

6. I want to have more followers in my blog.

7. I want to be able to stand up for myself.

7. I want to be proud of who I am and where I'm going.

8. I want to live my life at its fullest.

9. I want to smile all the time.

10. I want to be happy.

So, if you could ask for anything...what would you ask for?

A dustland fairytale beginning  or just another white trash county kiss

Its Christmas Time!

Randomly listening to: Sweet Caroline by Neil Diamond (Glee version)


This post is pretty simple really. Just wanted to wish you all a Merry Christmas. Enjoy the holidays, the family, the friends, the food, the presentsssssss.

And don't forget to be thankful!

Don't let anyone let you think that Christmas isn't great, cause it is.

Here I leave you with a piece of my favourite movie of all time, Love Actually, which is actually a Christmas movie :):

Whenever I get gloomy with the state of the world, I think about the arrivals gate at Heathrow Airport. General opinion's starting to make out that we live in a world of hatred and greed, but I don't see that. It seems to me that love is everywhere. Often, it's not particularly dignified or newsworthy, but it's always there - fathers and sons, mothers and daughters, husbands and wives, boyfriends, girlfriends, old friends. When the planes hit the Twin Towers, as far as I know, none of the phone calls from the people on board were messages of hate or revenge - they were all messages of love. If you look for it, I've got a sneaking suspicion... love actually is all around. 

Where it began, I can't  begin to know when, but then I know it's growing strong

High Expectations and meeting Them

Randomly listening to: Northern Downpour by Panic! at the Disco


When thinking about my future love life, I sometimes find myself wondering how I'm ever going to find someone who is good enough for me and who, at the same time loves me.

Let me explain: I dated Sir P for two years and then we broke up a few months ago. I was sure of my decision. I was sure it was the right step.

The problem is that Sir P was great. He was my first boyfriend and if I believed in perfection I would say that he was perfect.

That is why my standards are so high. Every guy I meet seems so little in comparison. It doesn't help that most guys I meet run from relationships. People are looking for one night stands...It would be so much easier if that is what I wanted. But it is not.

I can't loose hope though, right? There must be someone out there for me that wants what I want and that learns to love me as much as I love him...

Maybe I'll use some of these...;)

And then she said she can't believe  genius  only comes along  in storms of fabled foreign tongues

Just a bit of dreaming (quote)

Listening to: Claire de Lune by Debussy


Do you ever dream so much that you start to scare yourself? I mean, have you ever withdrawn from reality and made yourself a little home in the quarters of your mind? Then you dream up something ideal and all of a sudden you feel little waves of panic wash over you because you've just realized this whole mess you've made in your head. And the scariest thing you realize is that while you've been living above and beyond what you want in your mind, you haven't really been living in reality at all.

Silence is so freaking loud

My philosophy

Randomly listening to: Top of the World by The All American Rejects


Last night, Normy, Le Corby and me decided to go to The Venue, our on campus club, because if you said "I've built a snowman today" you only had to pay two pounds.

We danced all night and had a great time, but at some point I started looking around and wondering...

What I saw were girls with the skimpiest dresses and the highest heels they could find. Never mind body shape, constitution, personality...It looked like a robot factory. Yes, sure, robots who had spent a long time getting ready, but robots nonetheless.

Most of them were getting wasted and looking for a boy for the night. To make them feel beautiful, to make them feel wanted, to make them feel loved...

On the other side were the boys getting drunk too, just trying to find some skin to grab.

And it just seemed like the girls were trying too hard to get guys that would've said yes even if you were wearing sweats. Their desperation was clear in their faces.

So everywhere I looked I saw a girls kissing boys, boys kissing girls, girls and boys rubbing against each other, each looking for something different...

And I don't want to sound like I think I'm above all that, but I can't help but wonder if that makes anyone happy, if losing all respect for yourself is the way forward.

I guess at the end of the day, my philosophy is being happy, being fulfilled, and dressing as a slut to hook up with some guy that won't even remember my name the next morning is not my idea of fun.

Is there anybody out there that wakes up with a bitter taste?